We’ve had three women in the office getting married this summer. Out of those, at least two decided to change their name to take their new husband’s (not sure about the third yet). I find it shocking. It didn’t even occur to me that they might do that. We’re in 2007! Where’s my jetpack, where’s my aircar? Forget that, where’s my equality?
I assume, since people around me seem surprised that I’m surprised, that my reaction may offend some readers. (I didn’t make it public at the office, of course; there’s something uncelebratory about “Congratulations on you wedding — but WTF are you thinking?”…) But I find this subsuming of one’s identity under their partner’s disturbing.
Then again, we had a long thread on RPGNet a few weeks ago to discuss whether a gamer demanding “No bitches at the table” might or might not be a little bit out of line. Why am I even worrying about the small stuff? Answer: for the same reason that I don’t shoplift “small” items, the same reason I didn’t claim any of the merchandise I was handling for Dragonflight as my well-deserved reward, the same reason I try to stay away from “minor” discrimination, etc. Because the small stuff is the first step into the big stuff; because it’s easier to draw a nice clean line where the crap starts than to try to wade through the middle of the sewer to decide where it becomes too deep.