ConQuest NW report

Summary: Successful convention, lots of gaming, left us very tired. Below, I give an overview plus quick reviews of Puppetland, kill puppies for satan, Monsters and Other Childish Things, Traveller 5, and Urchin.

Some Highlights:

  • We increased the number of scheduled role-playing games (excluding any games cancelled due to GM or player no-shows) by 50%.
  • We had the first ever Story Games Lounge, and it was such a success that we already have confirmation that there will be another one next year. One game of “In A Wicked Age” ran non-stop from 9:30 AM to about 10PM on Saturday, covering at least six chapters!
  • The “Four Days of Freeport” event was a veritable buffet of ways to serve up Green Ronin’s Freeport setting with different systems. I got to play or watch all of them.
  • The live-action role-playing (LARP) team from Oregon, 5th Wall Gaming, was absolutely great. I tip my hat to them for persevering and managing to draw in a bunch of frightened gamers — and making them have fun, or else. I look forward to gaming with them again.
  • Fantastic miniatures games display, with particular affection for a couple of “Hordes of the Things” games featuring war elephants in one, and penguins versus UFOs in the other!
  • The dealer booth that sold Legos was utterly nifty.
  • A ton of gaming — I played in eight games: Puppetland, Swashbucklers of the 7 Skies (both in the original setting and in Freeport), kill puppies for satan, Monsters and Other Childish Things, Traveller 5th ed., Urchin, and a Paranoia LARP(!); and I ran two games of Cat. We need to try some of these at Monday night games, they were so much fun.
  • It was a bit scary but very flattering that so many people wanted to play in my scheduled Cat game. I had to turn people away, and Edmund even gave his spot to someone else. Last year’s players wanted to be in it again, I even had one who showed up with a cat-themed shirt. I had cat miniatures which were very popular; they were strewn all over the table and someone commented that this was “walking in formation” for cats. Edmund and two friends later asked me to run a second game on Monday. We even had spectators!
  • We had some really, really good GMs that gave their players a great time. I didn’t get a chance to game with all of them, and I need to find a chance to at the next opportunity.
  • Although I can’t give too much details until contract details are finalized, we got to see next year’s setup at the staff debrief when we visited what will probably be the new location. It’s much, much nicer and it will be just plain awesome for a game convention.


and I played in five new RPGs: Puppetland, kill puppies for satan, Monsters and Other Childish Things, Traveller 5th ed., and Urchin. Here are quick impressions.


This game has been on our shelves since it was first published in 1999. Edmund tried to put it on the program for some of our fill-in games, but it just never worked out somehow. He finally had a chance to run a short game on Friday night, and I really liked it. I would definitely play a continuing series; it makes for the perfect one- or two-hour filler game.

The premise: Mr Punch has killed the kindly old Maker (making a mask out of the Maker’s skin!) and usurped control of the puppet land with his vile henchman and their wooden thugs, the Nutcrackers. But Judy, Punch’s former lover, is determined to rid Puppetland of his evil. It’s a twisted, dark setting; you can look at the free version on author John Tynes’ site.

How it works: everyone makes a puppet — finger puppet, hand puppet, shadow puppet, or marionette. Each comes with basic descriptors for what they are, what they can do, and what they cannot do; and players are asked to add a few additional descriptors of each type. For example, I made a finger puppet, Eleanor the Elephant. As a finger puppet, Eleanor is: short and small, light, quick, and weak. She can: move quickly, dodge things thrown at her even if she only sees them coming at the last moment, and move very quietly. She cannot: kick things, throw things or grab things because she has no legs or arms. I also added that she is very brave, she can trumpet loudly, and she cannot hold her own against mice. (We only added one descriptor of each type rather than three as in the basic rules, as this was a very short game.)

Players can only only have their characters act by speaking out dialogue; for example: “I think I shall take this rock and use it to strike the naughty Nutcracker! Take that, Nutcracker!” And the GM is required to speak as if reading the story from a book, in the past tense; for example: “Pollux picked up the rock and struck at the Nutcracker. But the fiend struck back with a powerful blow!”

How we fared: The game was a lot of fun. I think the dialogue requirements, once everyone got used to them, helped set the tone. The only drawback we met was that one player was clearly in a goofy mood and wanted the game to be more humour-based, while the rest of us were along for a darker, more dramatic game. In truth, I think (and I said at the time) that the GM should have killed his ass. :-} But Edmund didn’t want to start the con by harshing somebody else’s mellow, and took it easy on the player. The lesson: next time, let’s make sure everyone is on board for the same kind of game. I hope we can play this again at one of the Monday night events.

kill puppies for satan

We missed Peter’s late-night kpfs game last year both at ConQuest and at Dragonflight. This time we managed to stay up on Saturday night, but everyone at the table was quite tired — including Peter himself.

The premise: The main characters are a bunch of losers who work for Satan. They don’t get to tempt anyone, that’s demons’ business; and Satan doesn’t want them to kill good people (because they go to heaven) or even bad people (because then they stop making everyone miserable on Earth.) All they can do is torment people in ways that make them say “Why, God, why?” — not “Please God, help me.” So they do this by killing beloved family pets in sordid ways, the more fucked up, the better.

How it works: Characters have 11 points to distribute between four stats: Mean, Fucked Up, Cold, and Relentless. (You can cheat, too.) You also get a starting Evil score of -1 to 3, and roll randomly for how many people hate you (1 to 3). The roll mechanic is simple: roll a six-sided die (d6) and add the appropriate stat. Anything over 7 is a success. You can accumulate Evil and use it to do evil miracles.

How we fared: Although people at the table were funny as all hell, and the game text is pretty damn funny to read too, the game as a whole felt flat. The role-playing and ideas were awesome, but the objectives were so limited that we eventually lost steam. Games like HoL, Low Life or Urchin (see below) are shocking and tasteless, but incredibly fun to play, largely because they allow you to do a lot of things you can barely imagine. Here, there is really just one objective. Sure, you could extrapolate other funny and fucked-up things to do in game, but it seems easier to use another system. Or maybe we were just too tired.

Monsters and Other Childish Things

As part of the “Four Days of Freeport” event, our friend Jayson ran a game called “Little Lost Yog-Sothoth” using the M&OCT system and the Freeport setting on Sunday afternoon.

The premise: Very similar to Pokéthulhu. Players take the roles of ordinary kids whose best friends are slavering monstrosities from beyond time and space — and that’s already enough to get them in all kinds of trouble with parents, friends, and adults in general.

How it works: Based on the One-Roll Engine (ORE). Roll a number of ten-sided dice (d10) equal to your skill or ability rating, and look for sets of identical numbers. The lowest success you can have is a pair of 1s. How high the roll is (the number shown on the dice) is the finesse or excellence of the roll, and the width of the roll (how many identical dice face your rolled) indicates how fast you succeeded, and how resilient to counter-actions you are in contested rolls. Or something like that.

How we fared: Jayson used a bunch of pre-generated children and monster character sheets. The monsters were scavenged from the 12 Monsters of Christmas; I picked Robbie the Infinite Serpent. The kid characters were adapted to the setting, so they had relationships to Freeport characters and ties to specific locations, which was good. The story was that somehow, monsters were disappearing and the kids were losing their friends; we had to find who was preying on our monsters and stop them.

Once again, it was a great group of people and I had a fun time with the role-playing. The system itself doesn’t do much for me (the odds of success are generally pretty discouraging), but the premise of kids + monsters was fun. I would play this again.

Traveller 5th Ed.

I first played Traveller when there was no such thing as “editions”; since then, I’ve also played Mega-Traveller and Traveller New Era. I have fond memories, but not because of the system. It’s a common joke (but entirely true) that characters occasionally died during character creation in the old edition. Current publisher Mongoose has been preparing a 5th edition that was supposed to be released months ago, but instead is still in progress. To make up for the delays and keep the fans interested, Mongoose has released beta system elements — but not setting — free online.

The premise: This used the old setting, with a standard star-spanning Imperium.

How it works: players randomly roll attribute scores using 2d6, then pick a career path based on what their attributes would allow. There are additional random rolls to determine whether you get additional paths or muster out. Skill rolls are made by adding 2d6 and the skill score, plus any modifiers, and comparing to a target number.

How we fared: The GM for our game, Russ, had registered his game months in advance, expecting that the new release would be hot off the press by the time of the convention; instead, he had to cobble an adventure based on material from previous editions. We played a group of characters who wake up from cryogenic sleep in Low-Berth chambers, their memories muddled by crash reanimation. At this point, the GM had us make a bunch of rolls which determined our attribute scores, and whether we could get out of the containers, etc. We wandered around a damaged ship, finding several sections open to hard vacuum by impacts as the ship floated in an asteroid field. Eventually, everyone figured out who they were (the GM took us individually through choices of career paths) and we had to salvage the ship and save ourselves.

The system was every bit as bad as if it had not seen the light since I played it in 1983. First, there is the death spiral: if you roll poorly on your attribute ratings, your choice of careers is very limited and you get crappy skills. At least, it would have been helpful to be allowed to assign the rolls to the characteristics of our choice. Second, why roll in the first place? Why can’t you have a point allocation, so you could get into the careers that interest you? As it was, I rolled abysmally. I had Endurance at 8, and everything else as 3, 4 or 5. I had very few careers I could get into; the only one offered was Army, which doesn’t interest me and was already amply covered by another character in our group. (Actually, now that I’m reading the free download notes, it seems I would have been eligible for Marines.)

When we got to the new career paths, I qualified for one other career: Drifter. I thought, Hey, what the heck, let’s look at the new stuff. From there, I had a choice between Barbarian, Wanderer, or Scavenger. I hate “space barbarians” as a stupid concept, so I picked Wanderer, hoping to get a niche skill set. I then rolled poorly for advancement and found myself with a bunch of skills at 0. Woo-hoo! I called my character David Lister. Out of six characters, we had four with a single tour of duty, one with two tours, and one with 3, so all our skills sucked. The GM was quite nice, but it was a fairly uninspiring game.


Edmund ran this game on Sunday night. This was the best new game of the weekend for me, and I think for the whole group (Puppetland was second best, Monsters and Other Childish Things was third, and Traveller 5 and kill puppies for satan were busts.)

The premise: Players are cast as the citizens of Scum City, a homeless camp deep under the bustling streets of New York City. Players struggle to keep their characters out of the gutter while they quest for Agharta, a mythical paradise realm. The language is foul.

How it works: You have two stats, Meat and Mind, determined by rolling 2d6 and taking the highest value (do this for each). You also have a few skills and may acquire equipment. When doing something, roll a number of d6 equal to the appropriate stat plus the applicable equipment and skill scores. Anything rolling a 6 is a success; anything rolling a 1 is Rot and removes dice from your pool. You can always push by rerolling the dice left and risking more Rot. Sometimes you can gain a variety of forms of insanity, and someone always has to be able to pay to keep the Lights On (or bad things happen.) Players take turn setting (“kicking”) or reacting to (“grabbing”) a scene, going in order around the table. Characters face madness and rot with every roll of the dice. The game can be played longer, but is primarily designed as a rough-and-tumble one-off event.

How we fared: Edmund began with a dramatic reading of the salient portions of the rules, and made us use pieces of trash pulled from the garbage can to write our characters, just like it says in the rules. Role-playing was fuckin’ awesome, turns were quick and lively, and we were always under pressure. I really want to play this again at the club one of these weeks. After only one game it’s hard to be sure, but some tweaks in the rules might be useful to favour “setting” scenes more than “grabbing”, since i think this makes for more interesting stories, but I’ll report on that when we’ve had a chance to play a few more games.

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